Honor or Stupidity; Morals or Inferiority Complex

by **Airen Auditoren** Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:54 am

Airen felt alone. He was in the Silent Wood. He got to a late open space in the prairie, and decided to stop here.

After Humphrey barged into his lesson, Airen ended it. It would have ended any way, but he needed to leave. He knew what he felt for Charlotte, yet she seemed to be taken with another. He thought he had something special with her, but he guessed he was wrong. He fumbled for his pen, then tried to find his journal. Only then did he realize that he left it in the Room of Requirement. Sighing and becoming even more sad, Airen unsheathed his sword. He put the point at his chest. Just before he thrust, he thought of Charlotte.

What am I doing!?! he thought. He needed to live for Charlotte. Wasn't that what his picture said to her. He threw the sword away. He silently cried. Why did he seem to be losing those close to him. first his parents, then his order, now his best friend to another. When the tears dried, he felt sleepy. Laying down, he closed his eyes. He dreamed of his and Charlotte's moment in the amphitheater. He smiled.

by **Charlotte Smith** Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:13 am

Charlotte had just finished the painting of the forest, swilling the final gloss with some more of her blood, which had made her feel a little faint and queasy, she was glad to finally have it done after all these times of coming here, it was beautiful, but hard to get to.

Signing the painting with her artists signature Charlotte left the painting to dry on the easel, she thought she heard something in the wood, after all, silence made the ears pretty sharp.

As soon as she was done Charlotte shrunk all of her things and placed them into her bag so that she could be going again, her worn leather satchel swinging around her Charlotte tugged at her three quarter shorts and adjusted her strap tshirt, then she saw something.

It was Airen! What was he doing sleeping in the forest?!

"Air?" she asked uncertainly "Air are you okay?"

Charlotte hurried down to sit next to him, scraping her knees on some rough bark, Charlotte gently pressed a hand to his face, remembering their last meeting with a pained heart.

"I'm sorry if I did anything to upset you Air...you know at the meeting? I...I guess I wasn't thinking straight I just wanted to make sure you were okay so I hit him."

Biting her lip Charlotte turned away.

by **Airen Auditoren** Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:27 am

Airen stirred. He'd been sleeping, and now that he was rested, he felt happier. He could think clearly. He heard Charlotte's voice. He opened he is eyes to see her with her back turned to him. He raised himself up slowly. He walked in front of her and embraced her in his arms

"I know you never meant to, I just over reacted," he whispered. "Remember, Charlotte, you're my best friend. I promise you that nothing will ever change that," he said kindly. He hugged her tighter. He knew that he felt strongly for her. It may be love, but he thought he wasn't ready to reveal that yet. In time, yes, but for now, he was content to just be her friend.

by **Charlotte Smith** Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:38 am

Charlotte squeaked slightly as Airen hugged her, then, relaxing into the embrace Charlotte rested her head on his shoulder and hugged hum back, smelling the unique smell that only came with being near Airen, although not knowing what it was exactly she liked it.

"I was scared you know Airen, I didn't know what to do when he started to duel you like that, you were very brave to start to fight him."

Squeezing him closer to her Charlotte snuggled her head against his chest for a moment, before blushing upon realising what she was doing almost subconciously.

"You're my best friend too Airen, my first friend, and you'll always have me here no matter what, I'll help you with anything you wish me to, any time any where! Because you're worth it Airen, even if I can't really do much...I'll try my best anyway."

With that Charlotte blushed a little and buried her head in Airen's neck.

by **Airen Auditoren** Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:28 am

Airen blushed as Charlotte settled her head at the crook of his neck. He laid his head on top of hers. He was glad that she returned his friendship.

"He kinda butted in. I understand that he is impulsive, but I'n just saying. He attacked me first," Airen explained. "Of course, that may just be me being critical," Airen finished. He always had that flaw of blaming himself for things that weren't even his fault.

"As will I, Charlotte, as will I," Airen agreed. He smiled kindly at her.

by **Charlotte Smith** Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:30 pm

Charlotte squidged Airen once more in the huh before pulling away with a smile, she was oh so very happy that he was okay, she didn't want to see him upset which he seemed to be when he had left the Room of Requirement.

"He did, but it's in the past now, he won't do it again im sure of it, you're a great teacher by the way, however hard it was to try and attack you."

Eyes widening slightly Charlotte reached in her bag and smiled happily as she found what she had been looking for, she had been carrying it around just in case he wanted it.

"I...I have a present for you if you want it Air...I worked really hard on it because there was no picture to base it off. So um I'm sorry if its not very good."

by **Airen Auditoren** Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:43 pm

Airen smiled and blushed harder when Charlotte hugged him tighter. He knew that she knew of his feelings for her, but if they were to be this close as friends, he'd be happy for her. No matter what.

"As you said, forgive and forget," he said smiling. He released her when she went to rummage around in her bag. When she pulled out a picture, and she handed it to him, Airen smiled gently, and took the picture from her hands

"Any work of yours is bound to be a masterpiece," he said. While he knew that to others, it may not be, to him, the were always beautiful works of art.

by **Charlotte Smith** Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:17 am

Charlotte smiled happily and poked Airen's blush good naturally, remembering that day on the Express and how he had blushed then, when she had told him that she liked his accent, and she still did, it was musical and lovely.

"You can't blame your blush on the heaters in the Express now Air." she smiled good-naturedly

When she placed the cloth covered canvas in Airen's hand Charlotte smiled nervously, underneath the wrapping was a picture of her and Airen in medium close up, it appeared that Charlotte was being given a piggy back by Airen, both of them were laughing.

"Well, I don't claim to be an amazing artist, but I did work hard on this particular painting...I want it to be special."

It was one of her absolute favourite paintings and it was hurting to let it go but she knew she wanted Air to have it.

"It's us, so even when I'm not there, you can look at this picture and...and remember me and you when we were little."

Charlotte didn't know if she should tell Air, tell him about what she found out, about what she knew about her future, and about her past which she had remained very vague on. Biting her lip Charlotte stared at her lap.

by **Airen Auditoren** Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:50 pm

Airen smiled. He thought back on his life thus far in Britain. He had made a few friends, started teaching them how to be a swordmages, and developed a crush. He was embarrassed, but he didn't try to hide it. She already knew.

"Who said I wanted to?"Airen replied smoothly. When did I get so smooth? he thought. He'd never been good with talking to girls, so him saying that was rather weird. He hoped it didn't make things awkward.

Airen gently took the cloth off the painting, and his mouth dropped to the floor. He smiled widely. The painting was beautiful to say the least. He traced the lines reverently.

"It is special. It truly is. I'll treasure it always," Airen promised looking into Charlotte's eyes. He hugged her tightly. No one had ever done anything like this for him.

She seemed to be at war with herself. Debating on whether or not to tell him something. Airen gently placed a hand on her shoulder. He tried to send comforting thoughts to her through their contact.

"You can tell me when you're ready," he said gently.

by **Charlotte Smith** Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:27 am

Charlotte blushed wildly at the smooth way that Airen replied to her teasing statement, she bit her lip and wondered just why it made her heart beat wildly in her chest, but she calmed her blush down a little bit in order to seem less bothered.

"Well, I...I don't really know, I guess I can't blame my blush on it either, that was really very suave of you Airen, you're getting good at this."

At Airen's reaction to the painting Charlotte giggled happily and she kissed him softly on the cheek, glad that her painting was being appreciated, and slowly Charlotte realised what she had done and flushed again.

"I...um...sorry." she whispered

Charlotte bit her lip, and she could feel her ears pop up out of her head but she tried to flatten them back down, digging around for what she thought would be the best way to phrase what she was about to say.

"I'm going to die Airen." she said quietly "And I don't know how to stop it."

by **Airen Auditoren** Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:47 am

Airen lowered his head slightly. He surprised himself. He smiled shyly.

"Well, I guess that it slipped out. Sorry if it seemed to forward," he said. There's the nervousness. he thought critically to himself. He tried to hide his blush when Charlotte kissed his cheek, but failed miserably.

"It's alright. I'm your friend first and foremost. Whether we remain friends or go to be more is entirely up to you, but I'll be happy with either decision," he vowed. He squeezed her shoulder friendly.

Airen became still when Charlotte told him that she was going to die.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to comfort her. "We'll all die at some point in time. When we die, people will remember us, and I promise to remember you always," he said softly.

"When are you going to die?" he asked hoping not to make things worse.

by **Charlotte Smith** Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:58 am

Charlotte smiled gently and couldn't help but giggle at the blush that was running around Airens cheeks, she hoped that he didn't mind what she had done because it was something that she hoped she would be able to do more often.

"I...I actually quite liked it, so no need to apologise Air." she grinned

When the conversation turned more to what she had just said Charlotte put her head on her hands, blinking rapidly to try and stop her tears, in reality she was so so scared of what was going to happen, she knew the date of her death and it weighed upon her.

"Thank you Air, please do try to spare a thought for me when im gone, it'll mean the world to me, wherever it is I'm going."

Her parents had always called her a demon, because of her eyes, so she knew that she was probably going down instead of up.

"When im 25. It's a long time away...but I'm still scared Airen...I'm scared and I don't want to go I want to stay and be with my friends, be with you..."

Charlotte bit her lip and wrapped her arms around Airen, she was not as strong as she thought she was.

by **Airen Auditoren** Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:34 am

Airen felt his heart ache for Charlotte. Such a sweet girl knew of her death and the date. He hugged her firmly. Laying his head on hers, he whispered words of comfort to her.

"Trust me, Charlotte, when you die, you'll live in a place where artistic inspiration is always present. Everything will be beautiful, and you will be happy for all eternity. All you need to do is be the same kind, caring girl that we know and love," he said passionately.

Tilting her head up to his, he looked deeply into her red eyes. His blue eyes shining with caring for her.

"You have time. Your death is not for fourteen years. You can graduate Hogwarts, get a job, and maybe find a guy who you love before you have to worry. I'll be with you all the way. Remember what I wrote on that picture I gave you? Live for others, and we'll live for you," he finished.

by **Charlotte Smith** Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:13 am

Charlotte hugged Airen back and began to cry softly onto his shoulder, she had no idea what it would be like to die, but she knew that it was going to hurt leading up to it, and it was a thought that often occurred to her, that she couldn't bare to wait for her death any longer.

She loathed the knowledge she posessed.

"But there's artistic inspiration here, I could do so much if I was only allowed to if I was allowed the time."

Frequently her voice cracked and she nuzzled her head into Airen's neck as she sobbed softly, her stress and her built up pressure all being let out in one fell swoop. For a moment she felt bad for letting it all out on Airen.

"But it's not fair! It's not fair! Why do I have to die when so many bad people are allowed to live I could do so much!"

Calming down Charlotte sniffled:

"I'm sorry. That was a horrible thing for me to say, nobody deserves this. You won't leave me, will you Air? You still like me don't you? Even though I can't stay with you forever..."

by **Airen Auditoren** Mon Jan 23, 2012 1:17 pm

Airen felt tears welling up in his eyes, but he refused to let them out. It wouldn't help the current situation. He hugged Charlotte to him, softly stroking her hair. He hurt for her. She was so sweet, and caring. He was sad that some one like that had to go through this.

"You have some time, but you're right. It's never enough. I don't have enough time to do all the things I want to do. No one does, but what we do with the time we do have can certainly make one good life," he said softly.

Listening to her sobbing made him sad, he truly cared for her. Heck, he most likely even loved her, and here she was knowing when she would die. It really wasn't fair.

"Charlotte Smith, I promise to be with you until you die, and even after. You will always be with me here," he said laying his hand on his heart. "When I die, I will find you, I promise to live in heaven with you."

He truly believed that she would make it to heaven. She was too nice and kind to not to belong there.

by **Charlotte Smith** Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:31 pm

Charlotte purred softly through her tears when her hair was stroked, it seemed to calm her down, and now that her tears were out the familiar sense of hollowness spread throughout her body and she stopped sobbing so loudly, her tears silent instead.

"You're right Air, I should be glad for the life that I'm allowed to live, and I will try my very best to make sure that I do as much good as I can in that time."

Placing her hand on top of Airen's Charlotte smiled, she was glad that Airen woudl always be with her, it was something that comforted her when she knew that she would have been alone otherwise.

"Thank you Airen...you think...you really think I'll go there?" she asked, hope sparking in her eyes "My parents so often told me different, so, maybe, it won't be so bad if I get to go there, it's good there isn't it? The best?"

Charlotte asked these questions hoping to gain some sort of comfort from Airen. "Oh gee I'm sorry, I shouldn't be putting all of this on you, forgive me, I just haven't told anyone yet, you're the first."

by **Airen Auditoren** Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:52 pm

"I know that you will," Airen said simply. He used his hand to dry her tears. His thumb brushed on her left cheek, catching them and smoothing their dampness on thumb.

He grasped Charlotte's hand in his. Airen felt his heart speed up. He and Charlotte had become so close in just a few months. Smiling at the memory of when he first met her, he replayed all the good times they had.

"Of course you're going to go there. No one is more deserving than you. I know that this may be hard for some to believe, but I believe that any one, no matter how horrible a life they lived, has the chance to ascend," Airen softly said. "You never get hungry or thirsty, there is no chance of being hurt, and people are happy, so yeah, it will be the best."

Airen held up a finger to his lips. He was glad that she saw fit to tell him this.

"You don't need to apologize. I'm here for you, but I think you should at least tell Professor Smith. He truly loves you like a daughter," Airen suggested.

by **Charlotte Smith** Mon Jan 23, 2012 9:05 pm

Charlotte smiled happily, she didn't know that she was going to feel so much better after telling Airen this, is gave her someone to play out her thoughts about this event, she hadn't had anyone to discuss it with and it made her feel better to get it all off her chest.

"That really does sound the best..."

She said quietly.

The idea of going to Heaven, istead of going to Hell like she had thought that she would do, made Charlotte that much ahppier about the whole thing, well, as happy as she could ever be about something like this.

"I can't tell him, I mustn't he'll be so sad, and then he'll get angry and he does bad things when he's angry, I don't want to tell him just yet because there's nothing he can do I don't think, so theres no point in worrying him."

Leaning her head into Airen's hand Charlotte sighed softly.

by **Airen Auditoren** Mon Jan 23, 2012 9:28 pm

Smiling back, Airen was glad that she trusted him so much to tell him of her upcoming death, even if it made their conversation somewhat sad. He knew that she deserved to at least have some one to get this off her chest with.

"It is...I know this because...well, people that have died in my past have told me. I saw some horrible things when I was young, and, after some solitude. meditation, and prayer, I had a dream where they told me that they were happy in heaven. I have no doubt that it was a real dream," he said, getting misty in the eyes.

"Alright, I won't push you to, but he will be sad either way. If I can help it, though, I'll be there for him," Airen promised.

Getting an idea to make the mood somewhat happier, he looked at Charlotte.

"I was wondering, Charlotte, would like to accompany me to the End of Year Ball?" he asked. He suddenly felt self-conscious but sucked up his courage.

by **Charlotte Smith** Mon Jan 23, 2012 9:52 pm

Charlotte listened to Air, not knowing whether she should be happy or sad at his confession to her, but she decided that she would just be understanding, she didn't know what he had seen but she hoped that one day he would be able to tell her.

"I'm sure it was Air, and, I'll try and do that too, just so you know that I'm okay, would you like me to? Oh! And please would you look out for him, just make sure he doesn't do anything silly?"

The completely different tone in conversation made Charlotte blink a little but then she giggled happily, she had just been asked to her first ball and she already knew the answer, it was of course:

"Oh I'd love to come to the ball with you Air! It's going to be such a wonderful event to go to, and uhm..."

She blushed softly.

"Is it a date...date?" Charlotte asked.

by **Airen Auditoren** Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:05 pm

"It'd bring tears of joy to my eyes to see you in a dream. I promise to look after him," Airen said softly. He smiled at her giggle. He thought he heard angels laughing. Cheesy, but it was true.

"When I'm ready, I'll tell you how they died, but not yet. It is rather dark," he said. He didn't need to further darken their conversation with that tale.

"Only if you want it to be," he assured her kindly. "I won't do what you don't want me to."

by **Charlotte Smith** Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:20 am

Charlotte gave Airen another swift hug when he said that he would look after her father for her when she died, hopefully he would be alright, after all she wasn't his real daughter so...it's not that bad is it?

"Thank you Air, that would mean the world to me!"

When Airen told her that he would tell her eventually Charlotte nodded, she understood that somethings would be told at a later date because they are painful. She too held some secrets still.

"I understand, and I'll be ready to hear it when you're ready to tell."

Blushing a little Charlotte glanced sheepishly into Airen's eyes, noting what a lovely shade of blue they were and she whispered:

"I'd like it to be, if that's okay."

by **Airen Auditoren** Tue Jan 24, 2012 8:49 am

Airen smiled at her. He bowed his head. Looking back up into her eyes, he noticed that they were a beautiful shade of red.

"Thank you for understanding," he said. He gave her a hug. Wrapping his arms around her in a warm embrace.

"Then, it's a date, Miss Smith," he said. He looked at the sky and noticed that it was getting dark. He'd have to get home, soon, but he didn't want to leave Charlotte's presence.

"I think we should get home. It'll be dark, soon," Airen said deciding to voice his thoughts.

by **Charlotte Smith** Tue Jan 24, 2012 7:16 pm

Charlotte smiled happily and hugged Airen as he did the same to her, it was nice to be in his arms, it felt warm and safe to her, something that she craved above anything else was the feeling of being safe, and belonging.

"You're very welcome Air, it's the least I can do, it's what friends are for."

Her smile only increase as he said that 'It's a date.' she was so excited it was her first real date and she was going to have to go home and tell Cobalt all about it, and warn him to be on his best behaviour.

"Oh, yes it is getting quite dark...but I don't really want to go home just yet."

Sighing Charlotte hugged Airen tighter before letting go and getting up off the ground.

"I guess we had better go though, do you want to come to Cobalt's house some time? I'd say you could come to my one but...it's not as nice."

by **Airen Auditoren** Wed Jan 25, 2012 8:14 am

"If he'd have me, then, yes, I would like to come," Airen said. He stood up as well. Giving her a quick, firm hug, he walked over to where his sword lay. He sheathed it once more.

"Until we meet again, Charlotte," he said. He kissed her cheek softly. He walked away, but not before waving at her one more time. He disappeared into the trees.

(OOC: Consider this a prelude to the ball for us. Very Happy