Numb (Seni and Humphrey)

by **Senium Nex** Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:14 am

It was Senium's first time back at Hogwarts for a long time, she had finally managed to ger herself under control, her movements and emotionally the hang of what had happened that night, she had managed to keep herself away from most of the emotional attatchments of school, such as her friends and her other professors, but she had begun to miss them again and had decided to return.

It was strange, she had many different emotions running through her at every possible time, so many complex things she just missed feeling pain, and the happiness that she felt when she was with Humphrey and Richard.

Now she was sitting in the Student Common room, she wondered if Humphrey was going to come in here although she hadn't asked him to, she had thought that he was here in Hogwarts, so he might stop along to see if any of his friends were here. Senium had a lot of work to catch up on, and she was currently snowed under in parchment and ink, she needed to at least try to catch up with this.

Sighing she picked up her potions recipies and tried to go over them again.

by **Humphrey Williams** Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:41 am

Humphrey was still feeling a bit ill, he had caught a stomach bug the day before and was still recovering from that. He could hold down food now, but was sticking to bland things for the moment. The exams were this week and he was about halfway through them. Usually he did pretty well, he always made sure to buckle down and study.

Since he didn't want to be holed up alone in Gryffindor Tower he decided to come to the student common room and study there. It had been a bit lonely for him since Senium had taken some time off to recover and get accustomed to her new body. So he figured me might try and hang out more with some of his other friends. Seeing them was nice, but he still missed her terribly and couldn't wait for her to come back.

Walking in carrying his study material, he noticed his favorite person in the world looking down at some of her homework. Setting his books down, he rushed over excitedly. "Senium! You're back. I've missed you soooo much. I think I need a big hug beautiful." he said, taking a seat next to her. "How are you doing?"

by **Senium Nex** Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:51 am

Senium blinked and looked up when she saw Humphrey, she smiled lightly but it still didn't feel like it was her smiling, it felt still a little removed from herself, like it wasn't really her body that was moving, but her councillor was going to help her with that, she was doing a good job so far as well.

Seeing Humphrey so excited to see her again made Senium feel a little bit happier, normally she was in a state of listlessness, neither happy nor sad, but it seemed it would be good to be around people again, it would get her out of that state at least.

"Hello again Humphrey." she greeted, standing up with ease, it was still so...strange to not have the aches and pains following with movement, but it was one of the pluses of her change and she focused on them more "I'm doing...okay I suppose." she replied honestly, holding her arms out for a hug "How are you?"

by **Humphrey Williams** Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:06 am

Humphrey smiled widely at her. She looked pretty much the same as ever, absolutely beautiful, but the smile was just a bit different. Looked the same, and he couldn't place what it was, it was just a tad off. Her weeks recovering must have been hard on her, especially when she also had to deal with her grandfather's death.

Senium didn't have to hide her scars under a glamour anymore. The wood looked kind of lifelike, but it still wasn't quite the same though. It would take some getting used to for both of them. Inside she was still the same amazing girl though.

When she stood up he saw that she didn't have to hide her pain anymore, no wincing or anything like that. The movement was only a tiny bit awkward, she had done well with adjusting to her new body. Seeing her pain free was a good thing. "Okay is about the best as can be expected. I've been so worried about you. Been kind of lonely without you around." he told her quietly as he pulled her into a tight hug.

by **Senium Nex** Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:14 am

Senium could see, much to her distress, that Humphrey inside was measuring her up against who she used to be and who she was now, it was really distressing to her, what if he thought that he prefered her before, to what she was now? Biting her lip lightly she still couldn't get used to how human it felt.

The charms over the wood that her grandfather had put there made her feel human, and almost was like she was normal, but there seemed to be something off whenever she caught herself in the mirror, like it wasn't really her. She just had to come to terms that it was her.

"You didnt need to be worried about me Humphrey." she smiled lightly "I was okay, I got some help for myself to deal with everything...he's really very good, I'm feeling a lot better now." Senium told Humphrey with a small smile.

Placing her arms around Humphrey she patted his back and hugged him back. Sighing softly, she relaxed a little more into the chair;

"Have you been doing much lately?" she asked

by **Humphrey Williams** Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:57 am

Humphrey immediately noticed when she began to get uncomfortable. He felt a bit guilty that he was comparing her new self to the old, but it kind of just happened. One thing he was used to and this he wasn't, so his mind just compared the two. When she started biting her lip he realized that she was probably even more self-conscious about herself than before.

"Sorry if my staring made you uncomfortable. Just kind of taking in the new you. You look beautiful, you know." he said, looking down at his feet and blushing a bit. Humphrey wanted to make sure she knew he thought that.

"Well it's not like I wanted to, but I did. It was a big change, plus dealing with the death. I just wanted to be there to help you but knew you needed your space to adjust." he told her honestly. "That's good you got somebody to help. I am glad you are feeling better. You have a lot of work to catch up on. I'll help you with all the studying of course." he told her with a grin." Always love excuses to hang out with you." he teased with a wink.

Letting go, he settled into his own seat to make himself comfortable. He couldn't stop smiling, it was so great to be with Senium again. "Eh not too much. Studying for exams mainly. I caught a stomach bug yesterday and am still recovering from that. Just been hanging out every once in a while with a few friends. Saw Char the other day at Flourish and Blott's." he explained.

by **Senium Nex** Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:17 am

Senium smiled lightly, she really didn't think that she was beautiful...but maybe with her coucillors help she would do, she had just begun to see herself as human it would take a while for her self esteem to work it's way up enough to be able to see herself as beautiful the way that Humphrey did.

"I'm glad that you think so." she whispered lightly pressing her fingertips together in bashfulness at his compliment "I was worried that you might not think so...you know after I was changed but I guess that you never can tell." Senium smiled lightly.

Glad to hear that Humphrey didn't think it was a bit over the top to get someone to help her, Senium smiled softly and looked over the notes that she was beginning to try and learn, just to have something to occupy her fingers with. She had lots of nervous energy lately, and she was ever keen to work on her movements.

"I know I am behind on so much, it's going to be even harder to catch up on my other subjects now...I was rubbish at them in the first place before I was months behind." pouting a little bit, Senium sighed lightly.

Hearing that Humphrey had been ill Senium felt herself frown softly; "Well I'm glad you're getting over it Humphrey, you should be careful...you know, just in case." she stated, of course, thinking about the virus travelling around.

by **Humphrey Williams** Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:58 am

Humphrey would have thought she was beautiful no matter what, even if just on the inside. His honest opinion was that she was still pretty on the outside though, and she needed to know that. He couldn't imagine how hard this was with her opinion of herself. Senium's view of herself had always been a bit too hard, because she had always had a deteriorating body. It kind of made sense, but it made him sad that such a wonderful person didn't know how special and beautiful she was.

"I will always think you are beautiful, even if it is just on the inside. Honestly though, you are very cute and pretty on the outside too." he told her. Humphrey said, blushing just a tad as well. "So glad you are back." he told her happily, with a big smile.

She started fiddling with her class notes, and he wondered if it was just to practice her movements. Perhaps she just wanted something to do with her hands. Reaching over, he grabbed her hand and slipped his fingers through hers.

"Well I'll be here to help you with all of it, no matter how long it takes. You are smart, I am sure you can manage to pass your classes somehow." he said optimistically. "Just do your best, that's all you can do."

Humphrey knew what she was thinking about, the virus. This was just a simple flu bug he was pretty sure, thankfully. "I will be, I always make sure to wash my hands and stay clean. This is just a stomach bug, almost back to one hundred percent already." he reassured her.

by **Senium Nex** Mon Dec 24, 2012 9:54 pm

Senium smiled at Humphrey and she tried to make sure that he didn't think that she was just dismissing what he said with a smile, but she really didn't believe what he was saying to her, at least not yet, maybe one day she would do. She hoped that would be the case. Although, she was glad to be back at Hogwarts it was better than remaining alone at home.

"Im glad to be back too Humphrey, I think that it is probably better for me to be around life and people for a while, better than being alone at home that is." she smiled lightly letting her gaze fall over the fire roaring in the hearth.

Gently she squeezed Humphrey's hand and continued to smile at him, it was simple gestures that often made her feel better, like him simply squeezing her hand like that. Hoping that she would be able to continue to feel this good, Senium sighed;

"I'm sure that I'll manage to catch up somehow Im just not sure how to be honest, there are so many things that I find difficult, especially in potions, I don't know where to start getting these ingredients."

With a small smile Senium nodded her head; "Well as long as you're careful okay?"

by **Humphrey Williams** Tue Dec 25, 2012 2:22 am

Humphrey knew it would take time for Senium to start to view herself in a better light. He would do what he could to help her get there, because she was an amazing person to him. All of her life she'd struggled with her disease, and now she was not even flesh and bone any more. It didn't matter to him though, it was still Senium. She still made him feel happier than anybody he'd ever known before.

"Probably a good point, socializing is usually better for everybody than just staying at home by yourself. Plus if you are out and about doing things it will help you get accustomed to your new body. At least I would imagine it would, I don't really know of course." he admitted, laughing. The fire was nice and toasty, making this a very nice room to hang out in.

Holding her hand felt a bit different than before, but in so many ways it was just the same. Her hand was still a bit warm, it was still pleasant, he still felt some of the butterflies that he was holding hands with her, but most of all it still made him happy and content to just be here with Senium. The main difference was that her hand wasn't as soft as it used to be. He couldn't stop smiling at her, it was so good to spend some time together.

"Hey, like I said before I will help you. We can go shopping for your ingredients, or if there aren't that many you need we could ask the Professor if we could borrow some of her stores. Plus I'm sure your teachers will work with you, they know what you've had to go through." he told her optimistically. "Also the librarian is really nice and smart, I'm sure if you wanted help in some classes he would be willing to help. Sometimes he holds tutoring sessions. From what I've heard he's especially a good at charms."

"I'm always careful, I don't want to catch it either. I want to spend as long as I can with you. So I make sure not to do dangerous things when I can avoid them." Humphrey said seriously. "Want to go over to the couch? I kind of want to just put an arm around you and hold you if that would be alright." he admitted, blushing a light pink.

by **Senium Nex** Thu Dec 27, 2012 9:24 am

Senium sighed lightly, she didn't know why but she just wasnt' feeling her normal self any more, she just wanted to be able to curl up into a ball and lie on the couch, looking at everyone else as they talked and interacted, she liked the sound of chatter, it masked the silence that seemed to play on her mind every time she found herself alone.

"It is very difficult to appreciate situations that you have not found yourself in I agree." she smiled lightly "Although you are right, it is better to practice, than just hope that you'll get better all on your own. Being here will help me, I suppose."

The idea to ask the Professor to borrow some ingredients was a good one, Senium had just begun to get some work for her dancing, now that she had the stamina to do a whole show, but the wages were small as she was only a child still, and only part time at that.

"Well I think I'll ask Professor Webb for some ingredients, and I didn't take Charms class so...I'll leave the Librarian alone, he must have other things to do than tutor me." she sighed, running a hand through her hair frustratedly.

Nodding her head Senium smiled; "Sure we can sit on the couch if you'd like." and with that she made her way over to it and sat down, waiting for Humphrey to follow her and wrap his arms around her as he wanted to, it would be interesting to see how it felt.

by **Humphrey Williams** Sat Dec 29, 2012 2:51 am

Humphrey could tell that Senium wasn't feeling like herself yet. Maybe she would never feel like she used to, I mean people changed as they grew up. He knew he'd changed since he began at Hogwarts. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, you just had to stay optimistic about it. She seemed to be a bit lost in her thoughts before she returned to their conversation.

"You can always attempt to imagine what it would be like in another person's shoes though. It will be difficult, but things happen for a reason. Stay optimistic Seni, I will always be here to help." he said sincerely. "Come on, it will help. No I supposes about it." Humphrey told her with a wink. Maybe that could pull a laugh out of her.

Senium seemed to be thinking about it, and he guessed that she thought it was a good idea even before she told him it was. Then she seemed to think about something else, and he wondered what it was. He decided to ask her about it.

"Okay, sounds like a good plan to me. Really though, he wouldn't mind helping you. He is really nice and is always complaining about how people never use the library. I am sure he would be happy to have a student to help out." he said honestly. Librarian Sollmann was one of the adults he liked the most at the school to be honest. "What else were you thinking about?I could tell something else was on your mind. You had that thoughtful look about you."

Humphrey grinned widely when she agreed to it. "Yes, I would like that very much." Following her, he took a seat on the couch next to her. He put an arm around her, and pulled her tight to his side. "I've missed this Senium..." he said quietly.

by **Senium Nex** Mon Dec 31, 2012 6:38 am

Senium realised that she had been rather pessimistic about what had happened between herself and the society around her, however, there was very little to be happy about with her parents and grandpapa dead, what should she be happy about? She did have a wonderful boyfriend, and a surrogate father...she should focus on them perhaps, rather than her losses.

"Yeah, things always happen for a reason." she stated dully, of course things had to happen because some sick man in the sky thought it was a good idea, how was killing ever a good idea? "But are they good enough reasons?"

Humming a little Senium smiled a rather small little smile, and thought about running down to the library one day to see the Professor seeing that Humphrey thought that highly of him, and any help was good help. If it got her on track faster she would try it.

"Maybe I will go and see him since you think so well of him." she grinned lightly "Are you guys friends or something? I don't think I've heard you talk much about him before."

With a small shrug, Senium answered; "I was just thinking about work."

Hearing that Humphrey had missed holding her made Senium smile lightly, it made her feel so much more special than before, however, she still wondered if she would ever be able to feel things the way she used to. Not letting that bring her down, she rested her head on his shoulder.

by **Humphrey Williams** Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:52 am

Humphrey knew Senium had gone through more than most already in her life, and it was a lot to deal with. Honestly he wasn't surprised she wasn't as optimistic as she used to be. With all his problems he'd struggled through a lot of the same feelings, but with time and effort and good friends like her he'd learned to look on the brighter side of life even when pushing through the darkness. His parents had been killed, then he'd lost his uncle, two of his best friends had disappeared, he was turned into a werewolf, and once almost killed himself before being saved by a good friend. With time though, and the support of some great people he turned the corner and had been doing well for almost three full years now.

"Senium, it is going to take time for you not to feel so...bitter about all this. I've had my own problems, I know it's difficult." he said quietly. He wanted to make sure the happy and loving Senium always stayed around though, because that was what made her so special. "Sometimes there aren't reasons, bad things just happen and we have to learn to cope. I will always be here to help. Perhaps we could try and make some new friends as well, having another person to talk to is always a good thing." he suggested.

Ever since he'd met the librarian he had respected the man. In his first year when they were attacked at the ball the man had risked his life to take out so many of the inferi, and he did it without hesitation. Since he liked to read books and studied a lot in there as well, the two of them had gotten to know each other and become friends. He was a bit of a philosopher in his own way, and he'd found the man always had some good advice to give.

"I'm sure he would love to meet you. Even if you don't decide to get help from he is always a person with a kind word and good advice I've found." he explained. Humphrey nodded at what she said. "I've known him since my first year, when I go to study or check out books we always talk a little bit. I don't talk about him, well because nobody ever really thinks about the librarian. I am one of few people who actually go and talk to him regularly, most people at Hogwarts tend to avoid the library for some reason." he said with a shrug. He had always been a bookworm so he spent more time in there than most.

Work, she hadn't mentioned anything about work to him before. "What have you been doing for work? You've never told me anything about a job, at least that I remember." Perhaps it had slipped her mind or he had forgotten she'd told him.

Smiling at her as she rested his head on her shoulder, he enjoyed the closeness they could share in the empty student common room. The warmth was still there, but it wasn't quite as natural as it had felt before. Her skin wasn't as hard as wood, but it wasn't as soft as what it used to be. It still felt wonderful though, it would just take some getting used to. His heart still beat faster when they were this close, and he leaned in to give her a soft kiss on the lips. There was still an electricity when their lips touched, and he felt his heart begin to beat erratically.

by **Senium Nex** Fri Jan 04, 2013 7:39 am

Senium glanced at Humphrey as he spoke to her about trying not to be quite as bitter about this whole situation. She was just lucky that she was getting some help with it because on her own it would be literally impossible to deal with. Her entire world had been turned upside down, spun three times and then lit on fire. She shook her head a little bit, the motion still strange to her,

"There are always reasons Humphrey." she argued softly, "When evil triumphs it is because someone did not oppose it. Bad things happen whe good people fail to act. Everything has reasons Humphrey... otherwise it's all chaos. All... pointless."

Senium nodded a little bit when he talked about the librarian. She had run into the man a few times and he appeared nice enough but also rather dull. The idea of getting to know the man was somewhat appealing though so she nodded to Humphrey with a small smile. When he mentioned her work she paused for a moment,

"Just school work Humphrey." she told him, not entirely sure what work she wanted to do right now, "Nothing serious."

Senium broke the kiss slowly, noticing almost immediately that the kiss... felt off. It was strange. It was obviously her kissing Humphrey but it felt almost like it was closer to a dream than something real, like the entire experience and sensation was hazy.

by **Humphrey Williams** Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:23 am

Humphrey listened to what she had to say, and nodded. Senium had a point, there were reasons for what went on even if they weren't good ones. She had every reason to be upset, to be more so than what she was now. He was glad she was seeing somebody to help her, and that she had him and Professor Romain to help her through this difficult time. Hopefully she would start to have a bit more hope as she adjusted to her new self.

"You're right Senium, those are excellent points. Darkness does take over when the good people stand by and do nothing. I certainly don't think it's all just pointless." he agreed, and smiled at her. "The best thing about life is having you to share it with, I hope you realize how much you mean to me love." Humphrey whispered to her with a blush.

For some reason she hesitated before telling him, and he wondered if there was something else aside from schoolwork that she was doing. As far as he knew though, she'd never lied to him, so he accepted what she told him. He trusted her, and if she didn't want to talk to him about something she most likely had good reason. "Oh, okay. I know it's boring and can be confusing. Just remember you are a Ravenclaw for a reason, you're smart. I know you can do well." he said, trying to encourage her.

When he pulled away, Humphrey noticed that the kiss hadn't been the same for her. It had felt special to him still, but it didn't seem to make her heart beat faster and want more. He frowned a bit, wondering if he'd done something wrong. "Sorry, I guess it wasn't that good a kiss..." he apologized.

by **Senium Nex** Wed Jan 09, 2013 12:48 am

Senium sighed lightly, she needed to break herself out of this funk it wouldn't do to keep being mean and harsh to the people who were still here for her, she needed to make sure that they had good times together to combat the bad thoughts she had going on in her mind, apart from Humphrey and Richard, who did she have really?

"I'm sorry I'm being a little out of sorts Humphrey I just...it's all confusing and I'm still learning how to cope with it." she said with a small weak smile "I know it's not an excuse to be mean to you."

Tapping her chin, she thought about whether Humphrey would indeed like to come to her show, although she had lots of school work to do she supposed she would still make time to go to all the rehearsals for the show that she needed to, she had been worried she wouldn't be able to make them after all.

"Im working on a new show in the theatre just off Diagon Alley, I was worried I wouldn't make the rehersals but I'll make time to go to them I think, so, would you like to come?" she asked with a small smile.

Rubbing the back of her head she held Humphrey's hand with a small smile still on her lips; "I'm still getting used to this body, everything still feels kind of off, like when I'm holding your hand now, I feel like I'm experiencing it through wearing gloves, everything is still kind of...odd."

by **Humphrey Williams** Wed Jan 09, 2013 3:56 am

Humphrey was grateful when she apologized to him, even though it wasn't necessary. He already knew it was frustrating and confusing for her as she adjusted, even though he didn't know how much. If she was a bit grouchy now and again, well he had expected it a bit. She was usually the nicest person in the world and he knew she would never intentionally be mean to him.

"Yeah, I know that it is a lot to handle for you. I can take you being a bit grouchy now and again though, as long as I get to spend some time with you." Humphrey responded, smiling back. Leaning over, he kissed the top of her head and squeezed her in a hug. "All is well, you are still the sweet Senium I know and love."

Whenever Senium tapped her chin he knew that she was considering something. It was one of her little habits like how she bit her lip when nervous. He'd learned to read her body language, and it helped him in a lot of ways. She was so cute when she was thinking, it made him grin a bit.

"Wow, that is fantastic, congratulations. Well that's a pretty tough question..." he trailed off, acting like it was a tough decision whether he wanted to go or not. Scratching his chin, he wondered what she would do if he said no. But of course he was dying to go and wouldn't say that. "I would absolutely love to go Seni!" he answered excitedly.

Listening to what she was saying, he nodded, feeling a bit relieved that it wasn't just a bad kiss on his part. Honestly he didn't really know what he was doing yet. He and Senium had only kissed a few times in the past, so it wasn't like he was an expert yet. "Oh, okay, I guess that kind of makes sense." he admitted, rubbing the back of her hand in small circles with his thumb. "I thought at first I had just done a terrible kiss or something."

by **Senium Nex** Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:41 am

Senium smiled a little bit, she was glad that Humphrey understood why she was more than a little grouchy and was happy to accommodate that grouchiness on occassion, she was feeling a little bit more relaxed although she still wasn't used to all the touching and feeling, she was more used to being isolated recently.

So she decided to leave the topic alone, no good bringing up bad feelings again when they had just gotten them sorted.

"Im glad that you want to come Humphrey!" she grinned happily "Although it's not my usual ballet, its more...uhm street dance, apparently muggles really like that. So that's what our show is mostly based on."

Although she was going to struggle with balancing the dancing and her catching up, Senium knew that it would be fun, and get her back to normal, so she should take the chance that came her way. Hadn't she always wanted to be a dancer? She should be leaping at the thought of doing a real show.

The kissing thing, well that was still sensitive for Senium, it was that very issue that made her feel something different from human, the fact that she couldn't even feel things like she used to, she could move, and she could do so better than before, but that essence of feeling was gone.

"No not really..." she smiled gently "I just couldn't feel it."