If only broken hearts could heal (Lucian and Aquila)

[Lucian Ciero]

Lucian had been doing a lot of thinking recently and one of the things that had him continuously stuck was what to make of his relationship with Aquila. It was true that they had a lot of fun with all of their verbal sparring and such but the incident with Shekel on the ship had sort of thrown the whole thing in perspective. What he did with Aquila he did with Shekel too. And he knew he wasn't gay or bi so that meant that what he did with Aquila was closer to being a friend than being a boyfriend.

With that rather depressing thought he'd called Aquila and asked her to join him in the cafe. Hopefully they'd be able to agree on something and from there work out how they were going to change their relationship for the better.

[Aquila Wilson]

"Piss off, will you?" Aquila glared at her mother who immediately took a step away from her clearly very agitated daughter. She was meant to meet Lucian at a cafe - which she really didn't want to do after his explosion - but her mother wouldn't stop trying to talk to her about her sister and her father. "I don't care, I really don't." She snapped, turning and storming away from her mother. A great way to enter a serious conversation with Lucian, being pissed off with her mother.

She ran her hands through her hair and felt nervous for what this conversation would surely bring. Was he going to break up with her? That wouldn't surprise her and it was probably for the best, but she could feel tears wanting to roll down her cheeks at the thought which was irritating. She did not cry. Aquila moved over to where Lucian was and slid into the seat across from him, not having the will to say anything because she needed to control her temper first.

[Lucian Ciero]

Lucian looked up when he heard the door of the cafe opening, and he saw that it was indeed Aquila, looking as beautiful as she always did, however, he did also notice that she was also very very pissed off, and he hoped that it wasn't because of something that he had done, that would be all he needed!

When she sat down without a word, he wondered what he was going to try and do to diffuse the tension, instead, he merely thought it would be a good idea to consume more alcohol and promptly ordered a Bailey's coffee, which would hopefully make sure that he had enough dutch courage for the conversation ahead.

"Well hello to you too Aquila." he joked a little bit, before sighing, taking his coffee and thinking he had better start being more serious, sipping at the warm liquid he steeled his thoughts and spoke "You know what we have to talk about right?"

[Aquila Wilson]

Aquila took in a deep breath as she sat down and stared at him with irritation in her expression for a moment before she felt the frustration at her mother die down and she managed a small smile as the anger faded away and instead there was hesitation and a slight hint of fear.

If they were here to talk about what she thought they were, she could understand the feeling of fear and dread inside of her. She knew she was a bitch to him, the night he'd finally snapped had been a wake up call to Aquila and she'd sat around for ages, thinking about it. He had every right to break up with her, and if he didn't break up with her? She knew the right thing to do would be break up with him. If he gave a shit about her at all, she knew she was just setting him up for pain.

She'd been trying hard, but no amount of future seeing was helping. She was crappy at it to start off with, and she couldn't find the cure. She needed the cure, she'd spent ages working on potions but she didn't know what to do. She fought back frustration just thinking about it.

"Yes." Was all she could manage as her throat seized up and she stared at him warily, holding his gaze though because she didn't want to look weak. She needed to be strong, she needed to do this. It would be better this way, right?

[Lucian Ciero]

Lucian could see that Aquila had been working herself up into a worried state about this almost as much as he had. He sighed a little bit. The problem was that the conversation didn't have to be as 'final' as Aquila's words, word really, suggested that it might be. Opening his mouth to speak he frowned when the waitress chose that exact moment to wander over with the coffee.

Smiling fakely at the waitress until she left, Lucian too a sip of his coffee. He nodded before taking a larger sip from it before sighing slightly again. Rolling his neck, he looked at Aquila squarely,

"We need to talk about our relationship, as you know. However, what you don't know is this..." he began serious but his seriousness faded slightly as he reached across the table and took one of her hands in his, "That I don't want this to be a prelude to the end of our relationship. I want this to be the booster shot that perks up our relationship. I want to make it work."

[Aquila Wilson]

Aquila splayed her hands out on the table, staring down at them and clenching them into fists so hard that the knuckles turned white. She let out a breath and relaxed her hands, not wanting to look up from them at Lucian's face because she feared what she would see in his eyes. She took a deep breath and brushed her hair out of her face before she looked back up at him almost sheepishly.

He'd just opened his mouth to speak the words that Aquila suspected she wouldn't want to hear when all of a sudden the waitress appeared with his coffee. Aquila watched the woman walk away with an expression of irritation before she glanced back to Lucian.

Aquila's mouth slightly opened in surprise at the words that next came out of his mouth. She had not been expecting that, but she'd made up her mind. She felt a tingle of warmth spread up her arm at his touch but she retracted her hand and looked down once more as she bit her lip. "Lucian..." She began, peeking up at him through her lashes. "Do you care about me?"

[Lucian Ciero]

Lucian could tell that he'd thrown her for a loop when it came to his initial statement. Truth be told it had been a bit of a toss up between what he'd said then and another option where he ended it outright. But when he saw her walk through the door, the light hitting her face, he couldn't bring himself to just leave her. He didn't want to leave her,

"Aquila..." he whispered lightly, looking up into her eyes, his own softer than they ever had been before, "Yes... yes I care about you very much..."

Reaching out, he lightly held one of her hands in his own. He gently stroked the back of her hand,

"You've made me a better person..." he whispered softly, "And I don't want to go back to being without you... do you want to go back... to being without me?"

[Aquila Wilson]

Aquila shut her eyes and she wanted to turn and run away from Lucian but she sucked in a shuddery breath. Of course he cared about her, why else would he be trying to fix their relationship despite how rude she often was to him? She just wished he didn't, it would make this so much easier. With a sigh, she forced her eyes open once more and felt tears well up in them that she would not let slide down her cheeks. She was stronger than that, strong enough to have lived for so long.

"It's not that I don't love you, Lucian, please don't think that," she whispered softly, wanting to talk before he could continue on his path and crumble her resolve. "It's just that I wish you didn't care." She looked down, knowing he wouldn't understand.

Aquila held back a sob that wanted to rip up her throat and she lifted her head, her eyes hardening as she pried her hand away from his once more. It wouldn't help her.

"I don't. I would never want to go back to being without you Lucian, but sometimes it's not about what I want. I'm doing this because I know that it's best for both of us. I hurt your feelings because it's what i've always done. I do it to my mother, I do it to you because you both mean something to me and I can't hurt you. You remember when you first kissed me, right? I told you I had cancer. I still have that cancer and Lucian i'm going to die young. I don't want you to hurt when I do, I would never intentionally hurt you. Please understand that i'm doing this because I love you," her voice cracked and she raked her hands through her hair, not able to look at him anymore for fear she would break out in sobs.

[Lucian Ciero]

Lucian blinked a little bit, was she breaking up with him? After all they had been through and the fact that Lucian had thought about all the ways they could fix their relationship, she was going to break up with him before she even heard what they were? Was she that sure their relationship meant trouble in the future?

"What do you mean, you wish I didn't care about you?" he asked, a large frown marring his once open and very caring face, he was confused, wasn't that what women wanted, a man to care about them? "Isn't that what everyone wants, someone to care about them?"

Sighing lightly he pinched the bridge of his nose, so she still had the cancer, why didn't she just ask him for help, he would do anything to give Aquila the quality of life that she deserves even if that meant making a deal with someone he really wouldn't want to make a deal with otherwise.

"Why didn't you just tell me that Aquila?" he asked with a small sigh "You shouldn't let it hinder our relationship, the fact that I'll hurt when you go, if you go at all, I want to be able to make you happy Aquila, I'm not willing to admit that all these years of sacrifice have boiled down to nothing."

[Aquila Wilson]

Aquila was finding it increasingly hard to even look at Lucian without feeling her heart ache painfully and having her chest constrict. It was irritating, she'd always considered herself strong despite everything that had been going on lately, but it took being near losing someone to realise just how important they were. Aquila had always known that Lucian meant a lot to her, but she didn't realise just how much until she was breaking up with him.

Life was cruel, but she already knew that. Aquila used all of her willpower to look him in the eye and found herself wanting to smile, in an ironic sort of way. "Let me rephrase that - it would be easier if you didn't care about me." And it would have been, so much easier to know that he didn't care about her. This was all a complicated mess, all because she was too stupid to figure out how to get rid of her cancer. All because everyone, the healers, the potioneers, all those people - they'd given up hope.

And maybe, just maybe, so had she. Scratch that, she definitely had, why else would she be breaking up with the one person who she really cared about at that moment? Her mother was a distant thought in her mind, too many lies, too much betrayal to really want to care about that woman anymore. Lucian was her everything, and she was giving him up. She was trying to be selfless, and she still felt like she was being selfish.

"How could you not notice, Lucian?" Though she was on the brink of breaking down, her temper still flared as it always did. She bit her lip and calmed herself down a little, enough to not snap at him. "Look at me. My skin, it's so pale and tight around my bones, it's almost green, I look disgusting, my hair's limp, my eyes are dead. You didn't notice that?" She motioned to her skin, her hair, then her eyes before dropping her hand back to the table. She frowned at his words. "I'm trying to do the right thing, I just... I don't even know what that is anymore."

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